I sometimes feel that I need to update this blog more. But then, I only want to post what is meaningful to me. One thing that is very meaningful to me is that I am DONE with my semester!! Only 3 more to go. May 2012 can't come fast enough! But then it's on to graduate school, so really I've still got a long way to go :)
This post is entitled "Comfort" because I was feeling lonely last night. I went outside and watched the stars for a while. I love the night sky because it reminds me of my Creator's love for me. He created all that He did with me in mind. When I was a little too cold, I came inside and opened my scriptures to Isaiah and I read the most beautiful, poignant scripture. It is Isaiah 61: 1 and 3. The phrases that comforted me were that He was sent "to bind up the brokenhearted... and give unto them beauty for ashes."
Sometimes I feel like I have a lot of ashes; that a part of my heart is just ashes and it will crumble at the slightest push. Then, there's much more of my heart that is beautiful. I have so much love for people; especially Brig, my families, and my Savior. And Christ will turn every ash into beauty. He does that for me and, one by one, my ashes are changed to beauty and my broken heart is bound up. It happens when I feel unconditional love for my Brig, when I go to the temple and feel of God's love for me, when I think of Ben and Ethan and realize that I know where they are and that they are happy, when I know that Cade and Colby have big brothers that are cheering them on and will meet them on the other side.
I hope I'm not being too heavy, I really am not meaning to be. I know I must sound like an ultra-depressed crazy that sobs in bed all day. That's not who I am. I live and I love because my Savior gives me beauty in my life. It's our job to look for it and, honestly, it's not hard to see. There is so much beauty!
I love my Savior. I know He loves me and knows when I am sad or aching for my family to be whole again. I know it will happen someday and I know it's because of Him. How could I repay Him for that? He has sealed my family together and it's beautiful.
Have a beautiful weekend :) I will.