Wednesday, December 2, 2009

remembering Ben

Today is the 4-year anniversary of Ben's death. I miss him so much and I just wanted to take this time to honor him and recognize him. He is the best brother I could ever ask for. He blessed my life in every way and since his death, he continues to do the same.
It's interesting how the pain never goes away. I thought for sure by now that it would have eased up a bit but it hasn't. There are always things that remind me of him, especially music. And red Jeep Wranglers. And Marine Corp stickers.
But I know where he is and that he is with Ethan right now and looking down wanting us to be happy. And that's what I try to do everyday. Because he is where he is, he gives me a goal to get there and to be with him and the rest of my family forever and ever. I just hope I can be good enough to live with him someday.


Our Ohana said...

I love you Emily! And I love Ben and Ethan ... funny thing is, I miss them too - probably not even close to as much as you or even the same degree - but, even though we were never super close cousins there are just things that remind me of both of them that brings back a little bit of that pain. And I always think of Ben when I see anything related to the Marines!!


AUTUMN said...

Aw Em, I wish I was close so I could hug you. I miss your smile, laugh and funny things you do... like talk to Laura Bayles in your little lispie voice your girls do. It was sooo great to see you a few weeks ago. I totally know what you mean about the pain not going away like you thought it was going to... same way with my dad. I love you Em, and if you ever need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on... I'm here for you! Even though that's what Brig is for ;) Oh and when Scott gets here... we NEED to go on a double because I don't have many more married friends... anyway, thanks for blogging... it made my day!

Anna said...

Emily, You are so wonderful, and you will be with him. You and your whole family. It's just a matter of waiting till then. I love you!

Brig and Emily Nicoll said...

Hello Emily. I think you are the sweetest wife anyone could ask for. I just hope I can make it with you and the rest of your family. I love you.