Sometimes my heart hurts so bad I can feel the scars forming with every beat. My heart must be as calloused as my heel by now. Then why do I feel so much? Why does it still cut so deep?
It's not the future that hurts. I know I'll see them again and I know they are happy.
It's raising my fist to knock on my mother's door and hearing her crying.
It's laughing at something funny and then feeling guilty. Why should I be happy when they go through so much pain?
It's forgetting the sound of his voice and turn of his face.
It's the regret that I wasn't always kind.
It's the unanswered question of what it would be like if they were here.
It's the dichotomy of feeling happy that I have a sensitive heart and wishing I could go the rest of my life without feeling.
It's just that I miss them. So much.
There are some days that to feel is to hurt. Today is one of those days.
But they are not everyday. Thank goodness for that.